Rant

I do not think there is a phrase I hate more than “just gonna.” Keith is famous for using this phrase except his meaning is so different from mine so it grates on my nerves every time it comes out of his mouth. Like when I have spent most of a Saturday morning in the office working and he has spent most of the same morning on the couch, I will start sorting through the never diminishing (despite our best efforts) pile of crap on the kitchen table and he will look up from the couch and say “I was just gonna do that.” Or when we talk about getting Sophia’s stuff together for our weekly trip to my parents or his parents for family dinner as I am getting in the shower and after I am showered and dressed and ask him if he is ready to go he says “I was just gonna get Sophia’s stuff ready.” See for me “just gonna” happens in a situation like when I have picked up the phone to call my sister and my finger is just about to press the on button to dial and it rings (practically causing me to fling the phone across the room in surprise) and when I hear my sister’s voice after saying hello I say “I was just gonna call you.”
So is this a guy thing? A procrastinator’s thing? I know that I am a little OCD when it comes to mentally planning my day and I get a little schizy when I feel like I am behind in some way but this is just strange to me. If getting skewed from my schedule gets me a little freaked out, Keith’s lack of planning (for everything) makes me downright twitchy. Then I start thinking about Cecilia and Sophia. I certainly don’t want them to be like me and get crazy if the things they have planned don’t go according to schedule but I am not so sure I want them to be as laid back as Keith. Having children is hard. It has made me so much more aware of my downfalls and so much more aware of the things that bug me about Keith’s habits (have I mentioned before that I am a horrible wife). More than the girls getting sick or hurt I worry about passing on my neuroses.
Okay that was a weird subject jump. Too much on my mind…