Changing Schools

Keith and I have decided that we are more than likely going to change Cecilia’s school after Thanksgiving. It isn’t one thing that has brought us to this decision but a lot of things that kind of all came together this week. Of course, the fact that I don’t really like any of the other mothers was a factor but not the deciding one. However, I can say without self-consciousness that I will be so relieved not to hear “good morning, Cecilia’s mommy” in a high pitched sing-songy voice that is worse than nails across a chalkboard ever again. The more “real” reasons are that I have had kind of an uneasy feeling about this school year since it started. I have gotten the feeling, based on several remarks made by both her teachers, that Cecilia’s reputation from last year has followed her to this year and that she is not being “forgiven” for some of her behavior last year. I know that it is normal for teachers to discuss key factors about their students to the teachers they are moving on to but anyone who is familiar with children knows that there is a huge difference between a child that is 3 going on 4 and a child that is 4 going on 5. That said, I don’t think it is necessary to make comparisons of Cecilia’s behavior from last year to this year (even if some of it is “similar” in one person’s opinion). She should be able to start the year with a clean slate and allow time to determine how she is going to be “labeled.” Besides, I see the changes in her and I know she has matured since last year and the control she has over her emotions is phenomenal compared to last year. However, she is still five and, I feel, should still behave like a five-year-old child not a five-year-old automaton. I just don’t think that she is being appreciated for the unique person she is. I know I sound like one of those parents who think their child can do no wrong but that is not what I mean when I say she is not being appreciated. Cecilia has certain aspects of her personality that I have not seen in other five-year-old children. For example: Tuesday, Cecilia had her five-year checkup. Unlike a lot of children, Cecilia is totally at ease going to the doctor and is unfazed by any of it. At the beginning of the appointment I am handed a set of papers to fill out to determine her motor skills and whatnot. This one is a little different than her past sheets. Some of the questions are actually questions I have to pose to her and then write down her response. The first question is what do you do when you are hungry? Cecilia is standing in a little paper gown next to me when I ask her what she does when she is hungry. She looks at me for a second then this little smile crosses her face and with a tilt of her head she says, “Um…starve.” The next question is what do you do when you are tired? Cecilia’s response: “Yawn.” Not normal responses but not totally abnormal responses either. But still once again I am amazed by her sense of humor and just the stark honesty of her personality. Something I love so much about her. It is these things about her that I think are going unnoticed in such a big class with a lot of rambunctious children (mostly boys) and a very set opinion that followed her from last year that she is one of those “wild, not able to behave” children. (Just as an aside: I have seen her in action at school and I can honestly say she is not the most wild or out of control in comparison to others. Maybe she was having a good day that particular day but if it is her pattern she had amazing control not to display when I was around). I do have a keen understanding that this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to class sizes and as she goes through school her class will be close to 30-35 students but at this stage I think it is important for her uniqueness to be embraced now before she goes into the typical classroom setting where she will be expected to behave like all the other children. Maybe I am wrong about this and maybe we will be lucky and she will get that one special teacher that knows how to treat and teach kids as individuals even if she has 30 kids each with a different temperament and personality. Anyway…as much as I don’t want to be one of those parents that pull their kid out of a bad situation instead of allowing them the experience of dealing with the reality that things don’t always go as planned, I think this is different. She is five and she is relatively happy in this school. I just think she could be getting more out of it. So after much soul searching, list writing, and talking we have made this decision. Is it the right one? We may never really know for sure if, in the overall scheme of things, this is the right thing to do. However, after one very bad preschool experience I am going with my gut on this one. And if I screw her up? Well, I’ll pay for her therapy.